i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
