Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize