Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
