I'm going to jail i love you
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
