It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
