Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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