Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
