you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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