ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
