those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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