in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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