she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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