Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
