I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
