Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
