Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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