Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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