I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
