i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
