I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
