Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
he was CRYING into my vagina
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
