I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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