i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
