i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
