have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
