dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
