I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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