So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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