My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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