you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
