I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize