i would punch a child for taco bell
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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