Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
