She said her name was "party"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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