i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
