Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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