tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
