i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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