Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
