Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
