the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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