tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
