your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
