Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
