I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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