Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
