I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
