Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
