what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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