I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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