How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
