the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
