i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
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