it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
