I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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