I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
