i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
