your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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