so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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