what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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