just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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