I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
