O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
