wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I deserve this hangover.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
