i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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