It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
