If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
