And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
