he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
