so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize