week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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