i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Help me help you realize you are a moron
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
