I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
