I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
