Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize